The ISFJ

Temperament: Guardian.

ISFJ

ISFJ ’s are usually traditional individuals who value the structure and believes of their family, society and culture. They feel a strong need of belonging and strive to provide stability, safety and kindness to those they love. The ISFJ often feels a need to be needed and thus can be found in the humanitarian fields, teaching and nursing. Because of their good work ethics, economic understanding and interest in commerce they may also often pursue careers in business or the clergy in which they make especially dependable and kind managers and administrators. The ISFJ is the poster child for our ideal of the Mother, without whom warmth, kindness and unconditional love would vanish from society.

Communication Style

ISFJ ’s are naturally quite individuals and refrain from conversation with strangers when possible. When they do, it is because they have to and their energy is drained very quickly. They can open up strongly around their friends and loved ones with whom they can converse intensely for hours and describe in depth the experiences they had with others, how this makes them feel and how others aught to behave. As Feelers, the ISFJ is not satisfied with just stating the facts. When talking about something passionately they will describe and explain things at length and are only contempt once they FEEL that the listener understands their point of view.

What goes on in your head

The ISFJ spends a lot of time by themselves, where they are either taking in information or deal with their memories. When taking in information, ISFJ ’s like to read and they have a strong capability to memorize factual details that deal with human emotions. They will remember the exact description and setting of a character they liked in a book or the pinnacle scene of a romantic movie for years to come. When dealing with their memories, the ISFJ ’s often remember and reflect on happenings of the past with friends and family where they can often remember the most minute details of a conversation with a loved one, their facial expressions or the picturesqueness of a loving moment.

In Relationships

ISFJ ’s often have clearly defined expectations of what they want in a partner. For female ISFJ ’s this usually includes the ability of providing a safe environment for the family and for male ISFJ ’s the ability of exercising motherly duties. When courted, the girls like to be treated as ladies by gentlemen and the boys like to be admired by the ladies for their stature, strength and sophistication. These plans and expectations however often get swept out of conscious when the ISFJ helplessly falls in love with a life-indulging ESTP, arriving as the fearless Cowboy or the temptress virtuoso into the ISFJ ’s life. The two are bonded in a symbiotic union of stability and exploration that might just last forever.

Growing up

ISFJ ’s are naturally abiding and good children who tend to become grownups earlier than other types. They are not likely to act out during puberty and often even become parental figures themselves to their siblings. They are good students who tend to study hard and due to their great memory are often capable of retaining learned items for the rest of their lives. Being predominantly introverted and quiet during their teenage years they usually become more extroverted and organized during their twenties after which they continue to develop their logical and reasoning abilities.

Strengths

 Highly Dependable and Empathic

 Hard Working and Detailed

 Factual and Realistic

 Altruistic and Service Oriented

 Organized and Economic

Weaknesses

 Neglecting of their Personal Needs

 Disability to say No

 Somewhat Pessimistic and Avoidant of Change

 Susceptible to Depression and Chronic Illnesses

 Occasionally too Stubborn

How others should deal with this type

People who are dealing with an ISFJ should be aware of their good-hearted nature and refrain from abusing their service-minded nature. You should not ask an ISFJ for help if you can see that he or she is overworked and you should not ask them to do work that interferes with their personal values. The ISFJ will often try to hide if either of these are the case, so if the ISFJ is someone close to you or working for you, please pay particular attention to these issues and try to reason for yourself if it is absolutely necessary to consult the ISFJ ’s help. If an ISFJ close to you seems exhausted they will feel better if they have someone they can dump their thoughts and feelings on. In such instances it is best to simply listen to the ISFJ and refrain from proposing solutions or explanations to his or her problems.

How you should deal with others

As an ISFJ you should try to understand that not everybody makes their decisions based on the same values as you. When you are talking to a Thinker, you should try to reduce your statements to the facts and don’t include your own, drawn out personal reasons. When you are dealing with an Intuitive don’t criticize their ideas and models too much for being unrealistic. You may voice your criticism, but do not expect them to concur right away and give them time to integrate your critique. When dealing with a Percepter, simply allow some room for chaos and play. The Percepters like your structure and care, but sometimes too much can be too much.