The INFJ

Temperament: Idealist.

INFJ

INFJ s are calm, collected, bonding and visionary individuals. They are strongly drawn to the abstract and have an extraordinary ability to understand the feelings and motivations of others, at times even being able to completely submerge themselves in another person's psyche. INFJ s believe that life needs to be understood and action taken moving the whole towards the better, which is why they do well in a variety of fields and activities that have to do with realizing human potential. They make good thinkers and teachers for higher education, social scientist, counselors and are genuinely interested in the benefit of mankind. The INFJ is the poster child for our ideal of the Philosopher, without whom foresight, understanding and empathy would vanish from society.

Communication Style

Because of their keen interest in people, INFJ s can seem very extraverted although this side only comes out when they are in a happy and harmonic environment. In other situations, INFJ s are primarily concerned with mediating and helping people to understand each other, making use of their extraordinary empathetic and diplomatic capabilities. When talking, INFJ s love to find agreement and often employ abstract language, making use of metaphors and stories to try explain either their own or someone else's point of view and they have a special capability to anticipate how their counterpart is feeling and wether they understand the INFJ s argument or not. In general however, INFJ s are rather retracted individuals who observe others as much as they interact and only voice their opinion if they have something to say and feel strongly about a subject.

Learning Style

INFJ s have a strong sense of duty and are generally good students who can put a lot of time into studying although they may face difficulties memorization factual and detailed information. They internalize knowledge by understanding how things work, which often means that they have to derive a topic’s logic by themselves rather than simply accepting another’s explanation. Even though the INFJ studies best by themselves, they often get caught up with things that are not essential to a topic, drifting off on tangents while trying to develop their own take on something. Therefore studying with others occasionally can greatly benefit the INFJ because it provides them with insights previously overlooked and brings the INFJ back in line with the purpose of their studies.

What goes on in your head

From a very young age INFJ s think about how to make the world a better place and what their true calling is. Because of this, when they are alone they’re constantly reflecting on the experiences in their lives and try to put those into perspective with their value system. They try to understand how the world works, how their beliefs tie in with the experiences they have and what this means in terms of what they and others really should be doing. Because of their strong Introverted Intuition their minds seemingly can't stop running when they are alone, which can become problematic when they're facing a difficult situation. Bad times are analyzed over and over again until the reason why something happened and the mindset of the people involved is understood. When things are good however, the INFJ can rejoice in thinking about the positive and how one might develop humanity into one harmonizing force of good.

In Relationships

As with other things in life, INFJ s are romantic and idealistic in relationships, which means that they are very loyal and are looking for a soul mate and true love. When they are in a relationship the satisfaction of their partner is more important than their own and they will find novel ways to make their loved ones feel appreciated, special and empowered. Because of their idealism, the INFJ sometimes reads more into the character of their mates than might be justified, which is why they can have difficulties getting over a bad relationship, although they are quickly forgotten when someone new captures their attention. The INFJ matches naturally with the ENTP inventor with whom they can embark on a joint quest for change and form a romantic bond of mutual admiration, bringing together the strengths of foresight, wisdom, planning , exploration, enthusiasm and play.

Growing up

Growing up, INFJ s can face difficulties because they are generally at odds with society, how it is structured, how it works, what is expected of people and what motivates them. Young INFJ s naturally feel that we are in this together, trying to make life an enjoyable experience for everyone and they can become quite baffled when they realize that not everyone seems to share this common goal. Although well structured themselves, they do not normally understand the need for society's heavy focus on structure and control, which indeed should not be necessary if everyone shared the motivations of an INFJ . They spend a lot of time trying to understand society and human development, constantly in search for one true answer that will solve the needs of the people. All this pondering and analyzing can distract the INFJ from what they are supposed to be doing at school and sometimes give them starting difficulties. Because of their strong abilities in understanding the complex however, they often do well in higher education and when they meet more like minded friends with whom they can discuss the state of the worlds.

Strengths

 Highly empathic, Warm and Kind

 Optimistic and Creative

 Perfectionist and Hard Working

 Selfless and Benevolent

 Highly insightful and Analytical

Weaknesses

 May have difficulties to accept

 objective criteria

 May develop dependency and unrealistic

 expectations on others

 May develop ignorance towards reality

 and other’s point of view

 May have difficulties forgiving people

 May develop internal tension and

 inability to relax

How others should deal with this type

When dealing with an INFJ it is important to remember that the INFJ is an idealist with a focus on self development. They strongly identify their character with their ideas, which means that they often confuse critique on their work as critique on their person. Because of this, they can get hurt easily and retract from a conversation. To avoid such misunderstandings it can be helpful to let the INFJ know that you are not criticizing their person by introducing your concerns with a compliment and toning down your critique. As intuitives, INFJ s have a good capacity to integrate your arguments and adapt their ideas, however, as they are also Introverts, they should be given some time to work through one issue at a time. INFJ s have great talents in mediation, but they can draw physical illnesses being subjected to hostile environments for prolonged periods of time, which should thus be avoided.

How you should deal with others

As an INFJ you should remember that not everyone has the same motives and beliefs as you and that critique on your opinions is not criticism on your person, but helpful insights for the development of your ideas. If people cannot disagree with you without hurting your feelings they have to tiptoe around your ego, which can be very stressful and tiring for others. Finally, diversity in beliefs and motives is very important for the development of humankind because it constitutes a natural system of checks and balances. Thus it is neither necessary nor beneficial to try and convert everybody to your ideas and you should try to leave people around you more room for criticism and retaining their own beliefs, whether or not you disagree with them.