The ESFJ

Temperament: Guardian.

ESFJ

ESFJ s are naturally energetic, kind, structured and principled individuals. They have a very strong value system, which allows them to make “right” decisions in the moment and because they get their energy from being around people they have an extraordinary ability to simultaneously care for many. ESFJ s are concerned with harmony more than expediency and they have a good talent for structure and organization. They apply these strengths to keep those around them safe and happy and excel at activities which include caring for a larger group of people including social and emergency services, human resources, management, hospitality or as leaders of communal institutions. The ESFJ is the poster child for our ideal of the hospital director, without which care, organization and devotion would vanish from society.

Communication Style

ESFJ s are very soft spoken Extraverts who are primarily concerned that people around them are taken care of and feeling well. Even though they make good leaders and planners they refrain from using language that is too direct or assertive in favor of a more diplomatic and considerate tone. They have a keen sense of the feeling and needs of the people around them and always seem to have a kind, supporting or motivating thing to say. It is important that those they care about know that everything will be ok. For parties and events the ESFJ is a phenomenal host and will make sure that everything is taken care of and planned for smooth operation. They feel great joy when people finally arrive and instantly become the warming and soothing sunshine of the event.

Learning Style

ESFJ s have respectable memories and thus can take in a great deal of factual information. With their Introverted Sensing function they also have a good capacity for studying, although they will prefer humanized subjects, such as language and the humanities versus abstract and theoretical themes which appear cold and uninspiring to them. Nonetheless, ESFJ s are very dutiful and will do the best they can to fulfill what is expected of them. To make their studies easier, ESFJ s need to understand both the real life application of what they are learning and the human benefits that can be drawn from it. The ESFJ learns better in groups and through hands on activities where they can apply their learned materials to communicate and help people.

What goes on in your head

Even though the ESFJ appears very calm, friendly and happy when they are around people, in their heads they are significantly less relaxed. All they do is caring about the people around them and there are so many dangers in the world, so that planning, insuring and acting all at the same time can become very stressful and draining. Caring is one of the most astounding, complex and demanding abilities of the human race and the ESFJ does a lot of it. However, when things are good, the future is prepared and all dear is safe, the ESFJ can relax and enjoy remembering past events and all the beautiful smiles of their friends.

In Relationships

ESFJ s are loyal and supportive partners who want to take care of their family and their loved ones. In fact, ESFJ s want nothing more than to build a successful and loving family and their dating life builds towards that end. They are likely to find a suiting partner in the mechanic and sportive ISTP who provides them with a little fun, a little excitement, a little danger and a lot less seriousness than what goes on in the ESFJ s head. Because the ISTP is strongly independent and likes life on the limit, the ESFJ is also a good match for the ISTP because they lack the organization, planning and social life that the ESFJ is happy to bring to the union.

Growing up

Growing up ESFJ children are usually well behaved, dutiful and considerate. They don’t like school too much for all the abstract and theoretical things they are made to study, but love going there to see their friends and meet new kids. ESFJ s are likely to make friends easily and have lots of them, who in turn consult the young ESFJ for advice in times of need or to sort out differences. It is important however for the ESFJ to have a harmonic and functioning home where they will pick up the values, right and wrong that will accompany them throughout life. If this is not the case, the ESFJ may seek a home outside of home, or develop a value system that is based on their dysfunctional roots and depression.

Strengths

 Strongly principled and Just

 Empathic and Caring

 Open and Honest

 Selfless, Supporting and Helping

 Communal and Organized

Weaknesses

 May have difficulty looking at things

 from an objective perspective

 May become erratically emotional and

 narrow minded

 May neglect their personal needs

 May have difficulties realizing and

 abandoning false believes

 Susceptible to superstition and

 manipulation

How others should deal with this type

ESFJ s are very easy to deal with and always a joy to have around. As a person of different type dealing with an ESFJ you should be aware of their strongly developed Extraverted Feeling function, which means that they have a very strong value system and reason in terms of right and wrong and not true or false. This means that objective argumentation is extremely draining to them and is not likely to lead to any effect. When arguing with an ESFJ it is important to keep in mind the human aspect and point to the benefits a particular belief or course of action has rather than stating what makes sense or not. When an ESFJ is down it is also not beneficial to assess their situation or feelings, but simply listen to what they have to say, empathise and let them verbalize their sorrow.

How you should deal with others

When you are dealing with others, you should keep in mind that not everybody has the same value system as you and what is right to some, might not be so for others. When you find yourself in a heated debate, you can try to take a step back, make sure that you understand what the other person is saying and ask yourself if a compromise may be possible. As your Feeling Function may kick up a notch when you feel that your values are being challenged, taking a step back is important to calm your senses and look at the situation more objectively. In the end what is of ultimate importance to you is a harmonic environment which at times can only be achieved by accepting our differences and giving each other room for our individual believes.